Maria. Quiet and loud. I'm good and bad. I'm complicated and puzzling. A quiet observer. An over-analyzer. Love to know but not willing to involve. Like to think but hate to talk. Can't wait to be 20. Hate me and I won't bother it.
Page 1 of 43 NEXT
Following
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
It’s not that I demand too much. I know you love and care of me so much and I’m happy about that. But there are just things, some minor details that kick me along these times.
You never make me feel beautiful. You never make me feel precious. You never make me feel listened. You never make me feel smart. You never make me feel needed. You never make me feel adored. You never make me feel essential. After all, you make me feel that I’m just not worth it at all to be dying for.
Gosh, all I want now is a face off.
Thursday, December 3rd 2009 9:40am
One day , alone in a cafe, I ever said in my thought:
“I’m jealous of children. I envy them.
Because their pockets are empty. They don’t need to carry anything. No cell phones, wallets, cigarettes, lighters, iPods… you know what I mean? They’re free. As we get older, we give ourselves more and more things to worry about. To lose. Reasons to pat our pockets in a panic in case we’re missing something. A list to run through in our head before we walk out the front door. That’s why I envy children.”
I grinned and finished my drink, wondering if I had my cigars with me.
Sunday, November 29th 2009 8:35pm
When you’re at the top, remember what if felt like at the bottom. When you’re at the bottom, remember what it felt like at the top.
Good doesn’t last forever. Neither does bad.
Sunday, November 29th 2009 8:26pm
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
Now I’m a fat house cat
Nursing my sore blunt tongue
Watching the warm poison rats curl through the wide fence cracks
Pissing on magazine photos
Those fishing lures thrown in the cold
And clean blood of Christ mountain stream
Sunday, November 29th 2009 8:19pm
But really, everything happens all at once.
Every single moment that’s passed and the moments still to come are all happening right now, in this moment. You are young. You are old. You laugh. You cry. You smile. You win. You lose. You don’t care about either anymore. You love. You don’t. You love again. You hurt. You heal.
All at once.
There’s nothing and no one to miss because it’s all still happening. They’re still here.
And it’ll all continue to happen, forever.
Sunday, November 29th 2009 8:01pm
